There is a time in our life for creating, working, birthing, manifesting and launching—and there is a time for resting, being, incubation, withdrawing from the world and simply being still.
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰—𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.
I did not launch any mentorship program this year, have not done 1 workshop throughout this time and facilitated no retreats.
It was an obvious and clear sign from my soul that it is time to withdraw from the world, and truly sink into the vein of stillness and silence at the very ground of my being. To pause and simply stop everything that I was doing for so long…
Has it been easy to stop and pause? Not always. Yet, when a process is ripe for the stage of transformation that are being needs, it simply happens like a ripe mango falling off the tree. No real choice or personal effort is required.
These words came to me on a plane ride from Thailand to Bali:
“𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱.
𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘥𝘰𝘮.
𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦—𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴, 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯. 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘦𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.
𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥.”
What happens when we feel and listen to this unyielding inner voice that calls for us to shift the direction and trajectory of our life from one of active doing—to deep inner descent and disintegration?
The voice of our mind and ego will kick in, and give us temptations to stay on the surface and continue to live the way we were living…even when a certain way of being and living has long expired.
Questions like: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦?”, “𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨?”, “𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴?”, “𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱?”…
These are some of the questions that have arised from my mind in this time. Yet, the power and insurmountable knowing of our soul knows that there can be no other way to live—but to truly die, disintegrate and come undone…in order for a new dimension and facet of our soul to emerge and be birthed.
It’s so easy in our society to dismiss death, darkness, gestation and disintegration—for the more shining and appealing qualities of living fully, light, brightness, launching and manifesting that shimmer in the outside world. What we can't see with our tangible eyes, is often seen as not important, valuable and disregardable.
Yet what I see is the absolute value and importance of the rich fertile darkness within each of us—that holds a true substance and deep grounded wisdom and medicine of our wholeness that shines from within this dark cocoon of the void, emptiness and nothingness.
To really allow all the identities we’ve worn to dissolve, to let go of all the achievements, to really sink back into being 'nobody'—has a certain freshness, aliveness and freedom in it. A dismantling of self, in order to merge with a greater totality of what wishes to be born and expressed through our being. It's a simple fact that in order for new growth to concur, something has to die away...to give space for the new.
So as I allow myself to be in this metaphorical death lodge that I am in, sinking into the dark womb of creation, dissolving, disintegrating, letting go of everything—I feel a real true elixir and substance of substantiality ripening within.
I feel a new medicine that I am meant to share with the world and clients in the future—which will be a completely new expression of my work and sharing in the world.
And I honor however long this process will take, whether many more weeks or months—I know I must be true to myself and honor the calling of my soul that takes me out of the world during this time, and deeply sinks me into stillness and silence—that is found at the very deep well at the core of our being. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴…𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘥.
No more doing. Pushing. Striving. Becoming. Not playing into the game and sickness of the never ending hamster wheel of “more and more…”. No action out of obligation, social pressure to fit in and appease conformity.
Just a very silent and deep knowing that this is exactly as its meant to be. And to be fiercely true to that resolutely.
May we all be true to ourselves, and have the tenacity and courage to truly listen to want needs to happen in our life and within ourselves, and be willing to commit our full heart to both the living and dying, the doing and being, time in the summer of our life and an equal honouring of the season of winter….
From this lake I sit, silent and still, rooted on this earth and within myself—trusting and knowing that the evolution of our soul’s trajectory has a grace and intelligence to itself, and the magnitude of our soul’s expression and ripening must be met by the sinking down deeply into the rich fertility of the silent core within ourselves that all of life is sourced from.
To come back home to God within ourselves, and be renewed with a new sacred vision and calling—that is here to serve what is truly essential and needed on this Earth at this time…I am here in this liminal space listening...echoing in the heart of true silence.
Love, Nicole ❤️