Give yourself permission to be yourself 1000%

Give yourself permission to be yourself 1000%—don't dilute, diminish, and water down your essence and expression. The world doesn't need a cookie cutter version of you. The world needs you exactly as you are!

It needs your fullness.

It needs your brightness.

It needs your naturalness.

It needs your unique spark.

It needs your authenticity.

It needs your own kind of crazy.

It needs your corkiness.

It needs your eccentricity.

It needs your sparkle.

It needs your joyfulness.

It needs your MAGIC.

It needs you to be 100% yourself in all dimensions!

Don't contract yourself into a too small box of holding yourself back and fitting yourself into a mold of what is safe and thought to be "acceptable".

Being acceptable is boring!

You may not ruffle any feathers when you are “acceptable” yet you also won't touch, spark or inspire others with your unique magic if you are holding back and diminishing the potency you carry within yourself. Potency is not something that is luke warm and weak—it is ALIVE, VIBRANT, STRONG & CLEAR.

Give yourself permission to stand out—and dare to be different!

You can never be too much for the RIGHT people—always remember this truth.

…and it’s also true that not everyone in this world will understand you.

That's ok. They aren't all meant to understand you, because you BEING YOU is beyond a mental concept and fixed limited identity.

To understand someone is to try and put them in a limited and defined sterile box.

Be outside the box! Be FULL! Be crazy. Be Unlimited in Who You Came Here To Be—we need shooting stars in this world, and not just copies of “normal” and “acceptable”.

The right people will always Appreciate you. You can't change yourself for the ones that don't get you.

Focus instead on being yourself fully and give yourself permission to SHINE!

When you are a lighthouse to yourself, you naturally will spark a light in others—because a lighthouse that dares to shine unapologetically naturally lights a permission for others to do the same! It takes courage to shine and show yourself fully to the world.

But what other option do you really have?

To limit, dilute, constrict, and water down your personhood just to appear more "normal" or "acceptable" is not an option for those souls that came to this Earth to shine and INSPIRE a new way of living and being.

It takes so much energy to dim your own light and suppress who you truly are! Use that energy instead in liberating yourself and allowing your own inner light and essence to be embodied and radiated even stronger!

You my dear didn't come here to be like everyone else. Give up on trying to be normal. Just let it go!

Who you are in your original and purest form is a medicine for this world. Your simple and true being and essence.

Give yourself permission today to be WHO YOU ARE FULLY! There is nothing more beautiful than someone who claims their authentic self and dares to live that in the world…

We have enough cookie cutter versions of "acceptable selfs" walking around on this planet. Dare to be UNACCEPTABLE and UNDILUTABLE.

Dare to be true to yourself.

YOU ARE 1000% MORE THAN ENOUGH AS YOU CURRENTLY ARE. You just need to unshackle yourself, unbind the constrictions, and release the FREE SOUL and BEING within yourself. Spread your wings and claim your True Authentic Selfhood—in all its parameters, colours, vibrations, dimensions, frequency and unbounded vastness.

You are not here to be a small self. You are here to be the EXPANSIVE being you came to this Earth to be.

God / Life / Universe does not think in limitation and smallness. All of us are created with this infinite spark of unlimitedness!

It's up to us to claim and remember this truth within ourselves—and LIVE THIS TRUTH IN THE WORLD uncompromisingly.

All you really have is yourself—it's up to you how much permission you give yourself to be yourself fully in this lifetime!

You hold the key.

You hold the power.

You are the magic!

Let me know if this sharing and message resonates with you!

...I want to see you Shine in your fullest Essence in this lifetime. I want you to remember your deepest truth and live that in this world. I want you to be daring, unacceptable, bold, powerful, resolute and clear in who you are and your expression. I want you to be the brightest version of yourself! I hope this message can inspire and empower you to not play small - and live as a free and sovereign being on this planet!

With Much Love, Nicole ❤️

Collective Trauma & Communism🇻🇳: An In Depth Sharing of my Experience in Vietnam

We left Vietnam and arrived in Northern Thailand—now that I am outside Vietnam I want to share a deeper and truthful sharing about our time there.

When we first arrived at the airport in Hanoi, and was walking into the arrival hall of the international terminal the first thing I noticed was the level of absolute quietness and silence in the main hall.

It was almost eery, and the silence was so thick and dense. This was not a silence that comes from peacefulness, zen and conscientiousness that you experience in Japan for example, but a silence that is choking, oppressing, and comes from a fear of being punished if you step out of line. The energy field in the arrival hall while waiting to go through immigration was dead silent, and the energy field anchored here was one of “conform, obey, and if you don’t you will be punished”.

People can naturally feel the parameters of an energy field, and I think that’s why so many people were quiet. You have to be attuned on a subtle level to recognize this, but these subtle energy fields do exist wherever we go—and they inform and shape our behaviour in different places. I really could feel this energy field present, “that if you don’t behave, you will be punished.” This was my first impression of arriving in Vietnam.

Then when we were in the taxi driving into the main city of Hanoi, the first thing I saw and felt while in the car was this strong all encompassing energetic field of communism. I could see it all around me, and this energy field and imprint of suppression and oppression. I didn’t actually know at the time that Vietnam is indeed currently still a communist country—in the car ride I had thought that the remnants of communism could still tangibly be felt from many years prior, yet now I know that it is presently and currently still under the rule of communism in 2023, which is what I picked up energetically.

Also in the car I asked Jonas what he sensed and felt being here, and he said, “I can feel a strong collective field of numbness”. There was also this physical gloomy haze around the city.

What’s also interesting is that when I originally applied for a visa to enter Vietnam (as a Canadian, I was required to do this; whereas Jonas as a German citizen did not have to do this) the form that I had to fill out to enter Vietnam felt a bit intrusive, suspicious and asked me some strange questions, even what kind of religion I practice. When I was filling out the visa form, it already felt tight and contracted.

Then when we were in the city, the first thing we noticed was the level of aggression, agitation and anger around us through the cars, scooters and honking. It was a different energy compared to the chaos of India, and even Bali. To put it frankly, it felt like an aggravated energy field all around us. Then at different times, I just felt the misery and deep grief of what was endured here and how millions of people suffered, died, were killed and executed needlessly. I even saw pictures of people being tortured and severe human right violations.

There were times when we were walking on the streets and both of us felt so much emotional intensity through the energetic field of suppressed and buried emotions, where it felt like I almost had to scream (I didn’t—but it felt like something in the collective energy field is boiling and is about to erupt—like a ticking time bomb). After all, suppressed and buried energy has to go somewhere and can’t remain covered eternally.

There has been so much oppression on the people, like an iron fist being hammered down collectively. Suppressed energy is tangibly alive and felt in the collective field. It’s like walking in a swamp of unresolved pain, grief, brokenness, irritation, fragmentation and heaviness.

Once at a shop, I told the older woman that I didn’t want to buy the item in the store politely and gently, and she started to yell at me, and became very hostile and aggressive. Her anger, aggression and outburst really had nothing to do with me not wanting to buy the item, and I could feel and sense that it came from the deep buried emotions that she had been suppressing for many years (which this situation triggered and uncorked the bottle of an emotional charge).

Sometimes people are not consciously aware of it, but something within them feels and knows if its safe to explode and release pent up emotions in someones energetic presence that is open, receptive, and able to meet the emotional intensity. This has happened often in my life, in countries especially that have endured severe levels of heart break, war and fragmentation. All of these suppressed and unresolved energies lay dormant and active in the collective field, and they are seeking release, resolvement and healing as an evolutionary pull, drive and impulse.

My heart REALLY BLED for the people of Vietnam, and especially the older generation that actually lived and endured the 20 years of war and brutality. They experienced the unimaginable! Excruciating experiences, and deep inhumane treatment. Having bombs blasted on them, so much torture and execution under the communist regime, the division of the north from the south, fighting, enduring to survive, and mass oppression for many years. The heart and spirit of the people collectively had been severely pounded on…

At the same time, we also met many beautiful souls—especially in the younger generation of their 20s and 30s that are the extensions of their ancestors, and so many of them had a lot of light and goodness in them! They were very kind, sincere and helpful. When I asked them about their country with a genuine desire to learn more about their culture and society, they shared with me that it’s not allowed to protest the government at all in Vietnam. If you dare to protest the government you will go to jail or be killed they told us. When they shared this harsh reality with me, it confirmed my intuitive sense and feeling of what I picked up from the collective energy field that I was reading when we first arrived at the airport.

I cried many times while we were there, letting the grief, sorrow and stuck energies move and be processed through me (ie doing collective healing work). It was so energetically alive, palpable, visible and tangible in a visceral way.

We were once eating in a local restaurant one day, and there was traditional Vietnamese music playing in the background, and I felt so much grief and misery—where I just had to cry—there was no thoughts in my mind, no reason, just deep feeling what was really alive and present in the space in that specific moment.

When we were at the airport about to leave, the checks for all your papers and documentation was very rigours and thorough. I didn’t feel safe in this country, and felt the mass oppression and suppression from communism. I really was looking forward to leave, and when we were on the airplane lifting off out of the energy field of Vietnam, I felt as if 20,000 heavy bricks were falling off of me as we ascended into the sky! The light of the sun pierced through the window, after days of cloudiness (physically and energetically), and I felt a lot lighter and freer.

This whole experience was so rich in learning and witnessing, and was a strong contrast to the energy field of Bali or even Canada where I come from (“True North Strong and Free”.) It made me experience the severity of oppression that happens under communist governments, and the hammer down approach on the human spirit.

I didn’t feel safe to write about this publicly while in Vietnam, because it really didn’t feel as if its allowed to speak or share anything that would go against the ruling party. I can imagine that any journalist that would write anything that opposes certain ideologies in this country, would be put in jail and punished—that’s how severe it is (and I felt it).

It’s only now that I learned and researched that freedom of association, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press are severely restricted in Vietnam. Citizens that are critical of the government or who discuss certain topics deemed "unacceptable" by the party are often subject to intimidation and imprisonment. All the press in Vietnam is state-owned, either wholly or partially. Vietnam is a one-party communist state governed by the Communist Party of Vietnam, the only legal political party. Citizens are unable to democratically elect a representative other than from the communist party. After researching and learning this, many things make more sense now and are illuminated.

This is why we must preserve our basic democracy—and not take it for granted. Erosion after erosion of democratic values over a period of time leads to communism. It happens slowly, and can be very subtle and insidious. The harm, consequences, oppression and restriction of fundamental freedoms is the outcome of this form of top down regime. Without freedom, the human spirit withers and dries up. With freedom—humanity can heal, expand, grow and evolve!

As Kahlil Gibran said, “Life without liberty is like a body without spirit”. 🕊

Thank you for taking the time to read my sharing and reflection.

Love, Nicole ❤️

Don't Allow the Darkness in Others to Bring You Down—The Path of Being a Warrior of Light 🌟

There will always be people in our life that try to bring us down—sometimes they are not even conscious of what they are doing, but the darkness that festers within them seeks to destroy, weaken and hurt the light that exists on this earth.

We cannot allow the darkness on this earth to win. As warriors of light on this earth, we need to use hurtful, painful and challenging experiences to stoke the fire of light within ourselves to burn even brighter.

To use and alchemize painful situations and hurtful experiences as fuel to strengthen our light, fortitude and commitment to live what we came to this earth to live, share, create and embody.

This world is filled with both immense light and also darkness. Duality and polarity.

Some people you will meet in life are totally swallowed and engulfed in pain and darkness. The pain and hurt that festers in them, is like a dark pain body which takes on a life of its own and becomes a living entity and lord of darkness. This entity and pain body wants to hurt others and make other people miserable like them. Like a contagion and energetic virus.

This energy of darkness that lives within them wants for other people around them to suffer as well—it wants to suck other people’s light, happiness, joy, peace, and create suffering. It does this through creating conflict and this dark pain body wants anything but PEACE!

In peace it would cease to exist, and it can only be satiated through the energy of war, conflict and fighting. Hence it is not surprising that there is so much fighting, war, and conflict on this earth right now, also as a result of an enormous energetic pain body which is feeding off humanity's suffering and misery.

This is why some people you will meet in life don’t actually want peace, connection, unity and love—their desire and thirst to feed off more pain and suffering is stronger than their desire for peace and love. Often they are not even fully conscious of what they are doing, because they are no longer in control of themselves. They have lost their internal sovereignty, and been hi-jacked by darkness that is like an energetic parasite that feeds off pain and hurt. A living entity that nourishes itself through creating pain, hurt and conflict.

This force wishes to contaminate the light, suck it out of other people, and take up residence in its new host. Often people are not aware that this force has entered them and now lives as a unknown resident within themselves. They do things that cause hurt and discord, not knowing why they destroy themselves (and others) again and again.

As warriors of light and consciousness on this earth, it’s very important to recognize and see the forces of energy that live within us and which operate through us. If we can clearly see ourselves from within, we can more easily recognize the forces operating through others.

Don’t allow the darkness on this planet to subdue your light. Don’t allow the darkness within others to pollute you. We can’t change other people, but we can change who we choose to become and how we choose to deal with the darkness that works through others.

The stronger your light, and your commitment to live light on this earth—the stronger the opposing forces of darkness will try to shut you down, challenge you and try its best to pollute you with this poison. The darkness in others hates the light, peace and beauty within others. It wants to spread itself like a virus, and spit this poisonous pain, venom, and hurt into the hearts of others. This is how it spreads and multiplies, and contaminates humanity.

Don’t allow this to happen. See it for what it truly is. Some people are swimming in pain, and wish to pull you into the pain that they are encumbered by. Hold strong and resolute to your light—stay in your internal sovereignty and strengthen your connection to God / Holy Spirit / Life. The more we are tested and challenged, the stronger - fiercer - and clearer we become.

Wakefulness, Love and Presence is the medicine of this time.

Love, Nicole ❤️

The Quality of our Awareness, Presence and Relational Attunement ❤️

Today I arrived in Vietnam—a new country and place I’ve never been before. What is the quality of awareness in which we meet life? What quality of awareness do we live from—do we only see the reality around us, or do we truly FEEL what is right in front of us?

After travelling all day, we found a vegetarian restaurant in the area where we are staying and as we waited for our food there was a Vietnamese local family sitting at the table in front of us.

There was 3 adults and 3 young children. The children were wanting to have attention from their parents, but the parents were very absent and ignoring the kids—and because they were absent the children started to scream loud and resort to other means to get some attention from their parents. Then the kids came to me and Jonas and wanted to engage with us, because they probably could feel that we were present, available and open.

Then one small child went to fill his glass with water from the big water dispenser, and he was struggling to release the water to flow into his glass, and as he was struggling for many minutes both Jonas and I were aware that he was struggling and when we looked to his parents, they were totally absorbed in talking to each other and had no awareness for their son. It was painful for me to see and witness this.

The child obviously needed help, was struggling, and the parents were totally consumed in themselves. Just a lot of loud talking—mind to mind—and no receptivity, inner stillness, and sensitivity to others around them, and the space in which they were in. Jonas then got up from the table and went to help the little boy get some water in his glass. The parents didn’t even notice. The little boy was grateful and relieved that someone had SEEN and FELT him struggling, and helped him.

What happens if a child is consistently ignored from a young age, over and over again, and has to scream for love or attention? What happens to a child that does not experience being seen or felt from a young age? What are the consequences of growing up with parents that are emotionally absent, numb or dissociated?

We don’t receive the basic love and nourishment that we need to grow into healthy adults. We become conditioned that it’s normal to be ignored, not seen or felt, and that we have to “fight” our way through life in order to get any love, attention or recognition.

Either the parents didn’t care that the little boy was struggling and almost could have pushed the whole 5 gallon water dispenser onto the floor—and possibly hurt himself—or they simply had no awareness, space and presence in themselves to really see and feel what was happening in this moment. And most probably, their own parents probably raised them in the same way, and they didn’t learn themselves what it was like to be deeply attuned to, felt, seen and received deeply.

This brings me to the reflection and contemplation on the topic of awareness and the LACK of awareness. Awareness is light. Awareness is the ability to see, feel and know.

How do we go through life—are we fast and chasing the next thing, always hoping to “get ahead” to the “future”? Are we truly anchored here in the presence of now, fully able to see and feel what is right in front of us? What is the depth of our capacity to feel? Do we feel ourselves in every moment—or do we mainly operate from our mind like machines? Where have we become emotionally numb? Can we feel the absence of feeling within ourselves?

Often if we don’t grow up with at least 1 parent that is emotionally available, open and attuned—a part of our truest and deepest nature and original essence gets buried away, and sometimes we lose the connection to our true self because it wasn’t felt, seen and nourished by those around us from a young age.

It’s like a plant that needs essential nutrients to grow and thrive—our true being / original essence needs love, care, acknowledgement, emotional attunement (not mental understanding!), bonding, and to deeply feel on a somatic level unconditionally loved all the way into our bones.

Many of us did not receive this from our parents—and this is the journey of healing and growing into our wholeness—by giving that original essence / true self within us, the love, care and emotional nourishment it never received before.

This world is so focused on mental understanding, mental intelligence, and rationality—and we have forgotten the most basic nutrients that we need to keep our humanity and true self intact—love, presence, care, attunement, true connection, deep feeling, empathy, sensitivity and emotional intelligence.

When I was on the airplane this morning flying into Vietnam, I felt strong goosebumps and chills in my body when the insight came to me: “The heart of Humanity has been broken.” This is the root cause of so much sickness, division, separation, loneliness, and this age of disconnection and soullessness we are living in. The heart of humanity has been brutally abused—and severely injured.

And this is why I chose to come this earth in this time (more goosebumps now when I write this), and with tears in my eyes, this is my mission. To bring back the heart, to heal the heart, honour the heart of humanity and bring the wholesome love and unity of the undivided heart back into the collective sphere to restore the heart of humanity.

This is the purpose of HEART CENTERED humans on this earth at this time—to collectively heal the brokenness together—and the severe disconnection that has taken place that has severed many humans from their hearts (which is also the seat of our soul) with a collective hypnotism of operating solely from the mind. The purpose of our mind is to be a tool that can be used—we are not meant to live solely from this operating system, and to live without the connection to our heart and body is to render our humanity obsolete.

Machines function and operate—HUMAN BEINGS ARE MEANT TO FEEL AND ATTUNE THEMSELVES TO OTHERS AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT. If we lose our ability to feel, attune and connect we are no different than machines.

Love, Nicole ❤️

Listening, Living and Acting in Accordance with the Dao—A Wisdom Reminder Experience at the Airport 🙏🏻

First morning in Bangkok. I woke up, and was happy to see tall buildings and green trees outside our room. What a contrast of environment to Bali. It’s good to travel and change location sometimes, because if we stay in one place for too long it’s very easy to fall a sleep where we are. Being in a new place, sharpens perception and wakes you up to a new reality outside the one you have been living in.

When we were travelling at the airport and on the airplane, I realized that most humans are very innocent and mostly good. Our essential nature that is rooted in our humanity is of goodness. Most people are also very kind and helpful!

When we were getting off the airplane, the woman next to me across the aisle got her suitcase from on top of the overhead carry on section and was walking off the plane, and when she was leaving the airplane in front of me I had the remembrance and subtle awareness that she was forgetting something. As I was also walking off the airplane, I recalled that when she came on board the airplane she had 2 belongings she put on top in the carry on section, one was a small luggage and the other piece was a rolled up long cylinder art piece of some kind that she put on top of our side of the aisle because her side was full. That’s the only reason why I would remember she had a belonging on our side of the aisle.

In that moment, I normally would have tapped her on the shoulder and mentioned that I thought she might be forgetting something, but for some reason I didn’t say anything—and felt I wasn’t meant to intervene in this moment of time. That was a strange experience for me, to feel guided not to say or do anything. I have no problem openly talking to strangers and speaking to people I don’t know, yet in this specific experience it didn’t feel like my place to say anything or intervene in anyway.

The wisdom reminder for me in this experience was: Just because I COULD, doesn’t mean I SHOULD.

I felt a subtle wisdom and deeper knowing that I wasn’t meant to say or do anything—just because I had the awareness of what was going on in the moment, didn’t mean I was supposed to change or fix anything. If I would have FELT that it was important for me to let her know I thought she was forgetting something on the airplane, then I definitely would have—but I really felt it wasn’t my place to intervene in anyway for some reason in this specific example. It was like a silent and deeper inner knowing of what was right in that moment—and what was right action was simply observing and not involving myself. Being more passive in this situation was a more new experience for me as someone who usually leans towards being more active, assertive and speaking up.

As we all got off the airplane, we entered one of those transport buses that take you to the arrival terminal. After a 10 minute journey to the other side of the airport, we all got off the bus and as we left the bus I saw that woman made her way to the front of the bus and was talking to the bus driver and she probably had only then remembered that she forgot her art piece on the airplane! She was probably asking the bus driver to take her back to the aircraft to retrieve what she had left behind.

When I saw her at the front of the bus, probably panicking that she forgot her belonging on the airplane—I felt bad for her in my heart, and a part of me felt bad that I didn’t say something to her or do anything—yet it was only later after reflecting on this experience that it came to me that maybe she was meant to have that experience to wake something in her up, so that next time she would be more vigilant, careful, aware, and conscientious. Maybe she needed that experience to startle something in her awake, and to be more mindful and careful next time of her things and belongings.

We don’t always know the reason why things happen the way they do—yet we have to trust that there is a teaching and learning in every experience we have. And the more important learning and teaching for me specifically in this experience was to see and understand that just because you see, are aware of something, or know something—doesn’t always mean its right to SAY or DO something if its not your place to intervene. Everyone has their own path, and is meant to learn different things for their development.

To have the wisdom, discernment and maturity of knowing and feeling when to speak up and do something, and when its more “right action” to observe and be silent to allow whatever experience is meant to unfold to unfold for that person and what’s needed for their path and journey. The dance of being and doing. Yin and Yang. Involving ourself and stepping back and letting things run their course naturally…

I share this reflection, contemplation and realization as a learning for myself, and hope that it can also be fruitful and of value to you as well in some way…when to actively act vs. listening to a deeper wisdom that tells us to observe and let things be as they are so that they run their course naturally without any intervention. Listening, living and acting in accordance with the Dao—the natural process of life unfolding.

Love, Nicole ❤️

The Journey of the Soul Growing up into Christ Essence & Light—An Inspirational Sister in Christ 🕊️

We met a beautiful soul that worked at the health food store—and every time I went shopping here she was so kind, helpful and truly living in the spirit of service. Her presence and essence touched me. I want to share an inspiring story about her!

The qualities I appreciate about our friend Olvin (pronounced similar to Dolphin!) is her purity of heart & soul, humility, wholesomeness, faith, strength of spirit, kindness, and a Christian nun soul essence where she treats everyone as a fellow sister or brother. She has so much goodness and light in her being!

Olvin is someone who went through many challenges in her life, and had to grow up very quickly because both her parents left her and her younger siblings after they divorced at a young age. She missed out on her childhood, and had to grow up much quicker than normal. She didn’t have any support from her family. She had to make it on her own, on an isolated island in Indonesia and she flew to Java with only a few dollars in her pocket as a young adult. All she had was a strong incredible faith and connection to God and a higher power—which has truly led and guided her on her path.

Meeting Olvin, reminded me of what it means to be a true Christian at heart, not as a religious dogma, but as someone who truly lives to serve others in a selfless way. What also inspired me is how truly and deeply she was able to forgive her parents—and have a clean and pure heart regardless of the pain she went through. She would have every "reason" to hate her parents for their failure as parents and abandonment, yet she doesn’t have a bone of hatred, grievance or resentment within her. She is fully free, with an unblemished heart. This is rare to encounter and feel in another!

She told me once, “Nicole, I want for others to see Christ within me (and working through her).” And with her, I truly see and feel the Christ essence / consciousness embodied in a deep way. And I realized through her, that Christ is not just within people—some souls have actually matured and grown up into Christ—and are living in Christ essence. It’s not just that a piece of Christ is within all of us, it’s also about the journey of the soul growing into Christ through letting go of selfishness, ignorance, egocentrism, pride and layers of human blindness. It’s not enough to have a small piece of Christ within us, it’s about the journey of our soul growing and maturing into the Christ light—and when we are living in the Christ light no pain, resentment, hurt and grievances can exist in the purity of the light of Christ—because there is only true love, true understanding, true compassion and true forgiveness.

Most people in this day and age, especially in contemporary spirituality, personal development and the online social media world is a lot focused on “me” and look how amazing “I am”. A lot of it is so self focused, self obsessed and we put ourselves on a pedestal of self importance. This has nothing to do with true spirituality! It’s a lot of ego gratification and reinforcing and building up a strong self identity and sense of personal importance.

With Olvin, she doesn’t care about herself in this way—there is no glorifying herself in anyway, and she wants to honour Christ and give herself fully to something higher than herself—and not just devotion to the ego (which is so common in our modern day world). She is a modern day undercover Nun, reminding me of the original and pure essence of what religion really stands for—devotion to something greater than ourselves.

When I invited her to our place to have a tea together with Jonas and I, I immediately noticed that she sits with such a perfect and dignified upright posture the whole time, not even leaning back once on the couch or chair where she sits throughout the 2-3 hours we were together! This was awe inspiring and impressive for me to observe. Such a petite and small young woman physically, who is a spiritual giant in a small body. She has so much strength of spirit (spiritual strength) and I can feel God has her back—almost literally—with never needing to lean back against the chair or couch the whole time! I could feel that her backbone is one of undeniable and unyielding faith!

Through her I was able to see and feel that some souls ARE IN CHRIST, and not just a piece of Christ being within them. There’s a difference. All of us have a piece of Christ within our hearts, but not all of us have truly grown up into the Christ essence, where our soul is merged and One with the Christ Nature and Light.

When I spent these last 3 months offline, and was in a time of deep inner retreat, feeling a strong connection to Mystical Christianity and this lineage of Light that I feel a strong connection with, I also could feel a strong Christian Nun soul essence within me. It was in this time that I met Olvin!

After being in a strong inner spiritual deepening and purification process these past 4 years, meeting Olvin was giving me one of the last pieces for my puzzle. At the end of our tea together, she looked at me, and it was one of those moments when you feel God speaking directly through someone to the core of your soul. She said, “Nicole, we need to share and give! Thats why we are here.”

It wasn’t exactly what she said, but HOW she said it when she looked at me that I felt the truth burning into my heart. It’s time to come back, and share and give the fruits that have been germinating within my soul these last 4 years of being in a time of inner retreat, since I released and published my book back in 2019. I felt her message and words, were summoning me back to the world…sometimes it not what people say, but the energy in which someone says something, and the place in which its spoken from, that can strike a cord deep within!

I want to honour Olvin in this sharing as a woman of God, sister in Christ, and spiritual giant. So much spiritual strength & maturity! A true Christian in mind, body, heart and soul. I’ve been inspired by her presence! It’s been more rare for me to meet women who are strong and clear embodiments of Christ nature and essence, and up until this point I’ve met more men who have strong Christ like nature’s. I know some spiritual teachers that are men who have strong Christ essence and energy, yet meeting Olvin was reminding me of what it means to be a modern day Nun living, serving and working in the world.

It doesn’t matter what form of job she does in this lifetime, because regardless of her position, she will always minister light, faith, and Christian principles through her very being and example. So many people came to this health food store because of Olvin’s light and presence! She made a difference in so many people’s lives, simply by working at this health food store in a very humble and down to earth way—because it’s who and what she is that is more rare to see and feel in this world.

It’s not what we DO, but who we ARE in the process of our “doing” that truly matters. What is the quality in which we live, work, serve and do? From where are we motivated and driven? Who are we truly serving, “ourself” or “others”? We have to be brutally honest with ourselves. Now that she has left the health food store, it’s like a big presence and light is missing. She was the spirit and soul of this place!

I also realized that certain souls who really live from the place of serving others before themselves, are people that you naturally feel a desire and inclination to support and give to—because you know that by supporting and giving to them, you are supporting more Light, Goodness, Selflessness and True Service on this Earth. By supporting these souls, we support God on this Earth, and the Divine that works through them!

Her presence, spiritual maturity, her lived example of the difficulties and challenges she went through and how she surmounted painful human experiences touched something deep within me, and it’s the Christ essence that I see and feel in her presence. It burns and dissolves any remnants of pain in the human heart, and purifies it into light. Thanks to Olvin, she reminded me of what it means to live with an unblemished heart!

A heart that has truly RISEN beyond human pain and personal suffering, and is much vaster than any transgression that was experienced or endured. The power of the pristine heart, that is unblemished, that only knows love and forgiveness in every way—hence what it means to have purity of heart and soul. Darkness can’t fester in a clean heart that has truly forgiven others.

I hope my sharing and story can inspire—and maybe nourish and touch something within you…..it definitely touches something deep within me!

Love, Nicole ❤️