It’s day 2 of my coconut water and juice fast here in the jungle in Indonesia.
I am awake, and it’s 2:51am in the morning—I can’t sleep. I have too much energy to sleep.
As I lay in bed, stirring, I have the realization and awareness that I have been in a strong groove these last few years.
A groove that we all can easily get stuck in, and this groove has been for me the Divine Feminine / Women Circle / Priestess movement and awakening.
Now within me, I feel the strong need to get out of this groove, and have been moving out of this groove…yet it still sticks a little bit.
My soul in hungry for something deeper.
Something essential. True. Deep. Pure. Clean.
Something that is not superfluous, but deeply essential, potent, and pure.
There is a fire within me, that burns only for truth.
Its a fire that burns through everything that is not essential.
Recently, I even feel tired of all the words that I have used in the past and often see on Facebook connected to spirituality.
Words like love, divine, light worker, starseed, angel, priestess, feminine awakening, soul….Even all of this, seems rather empty to me.
I feel tired of it all.
It doesn’t thirst the quench within my deeper being.
Yet, how can I bring in a deeper dimension myself? What are the words that match this living truth and reality within me?
I thirst for something deeper, only because I know that there is something deeper.
If the deeper aspect of my being had not already realized a deeper truth, I would not be thirsty for something deeper…
It’s a texture, a fragrance, a substance that I don’t see, feel and smell too often in this realm of modern day spirituality.
The true fragrance of God is missing.
I long for the distilled truth. I feel tears in my eyes when I write this. It’s like something within me is remembering something I know, and have long since forgotten for some time…
I feel I need to let go of everything. This desire for something more essential and true is waking up within me like a volcano that is about to erupt.
I am tired of something even within myself. I am tired of diluting, simplifying, and watering down my expression.
I am tired of meaningless messaging on Facebook.
I am tried of all the posts I see on Facebook that have nothing to do with this essential God aspect that I yearn for.
I am tired of this energy that I see often of a rather loud and “look at me” way of expression, as opposed to being just natural, simple and not needing any attention or external validation.
After going into such transpersonal realms these last few years, and seeing many teachings on ultimate truths—I also desire to see people who live their deepest truth. In a personal way.
What does it mean to really embody ones personal truth? A personal truth, that blazes like fire. A personal truth, that is clear and burning. What does it mean to be a woman that is the embodiment of her personal truth?
I just feel this space within myself of something that wishes to go even deeper, then where I’ve been, that's already alive and awake within me.
What really matters to you Nicole?
What is truly essential?
What do you burn for?
What and who do you want to be in the world?
What do you stand for?
What do you want to become?
…there is a pause now in my writing. I reflect and feel these questions. I feel the answer within me—yet there is no answer in words that come. Just a strong solid knowing.
*** My first printed review copy of my book will be arriving at my home this week! 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗹 𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲: 𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 is soon to be released.
It's been a 5 year vision coming to fruition, and the last 1.5 year creating, translating this vision into form - a true work of art in progress that is now ready to be shared with the world very soon. 🔥
With devotion to Truth,