I’ve been quiet here on Facebook the last week, experiencing a lot of pain and struggling with coming to terms with a situation in my life. Pain within my family, that has to do with mental health issues and witnessing those closest to me suffering.
A member of my family is right now in the hospital, and is struggling with a mental health component. This month is Mental Health Awareness month and I keep being pushed by life to write and speak about my pain and struggle with family that has struggled with mental health.
There is a stigma in society around mental health, and for a long time its been in silence. Yet, when I share my pain and my own personal experience of being touched by mental health through my family, with more then one family member, often many people I speak to can relate to what I share.
Many of us, even if we haven’t experienced it directly ourselves, often know at least one person in our life that struggles with alcohol or drug addictions, depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, eating disorders or other avenues connected to these streams.
In my own life, I experience deep peace, fulfillment, silence within and much love—through being rooted in the Light and my Divine Nature, yet this is not the case for all the members of my biological family.
For me in this lifetime, the deepest pain I have experienced is through witnessing those I love so deeply to be struggling so tremendously in darkness. My life may appear peaceful, light and blissful—which it really is—yet it wasn’t always like this in my life.
Growing up as a teenager I witnessed one family member fall into depression, have panic attacks and become addicted to alcohol as an escape for the tremendous pain they felt.
I myself, while in university in Canada experienced having a panic attack during the first year of my studies while I was going through a dark night of the soul initiation in my life. And now, someone in my family is in the hospital in the mental health care for something more serious that is debilitating their life.
I’ve done everything in my capacity to heal, support and bless—and as much as I have the power to transform, uplift, empower, heal, inspire and awaken many on this Earth—it seems that it’s not my jurisdiction to heal my family.
This has been the hardest and most painful test of acceptance, surrender and breaking open. When everything in your being wants to help, and simply can’t.
There is nothing more painful then witnessing your very family being tortured by darkness and tormented in their souls.
There is absolutely nothing more painful then slowly watching someone live with self destructive tendencies. It’s heartbreaking to see those you love suffer. Especially when you are an empath, heart wide open as the Universe, and a very powerful and strong Light worker on this Earth.
I noticed in this last week, that through being forced to simply fall into acceptance of an impossible situation, my heart has been aching, breaking and cracking open even more.
A lot of crying. Deep pain. Pain has been my greatest awakener in this lifetime. There is nothing like burning in the fires of pure raw pain, that stir within the deepest truth and essence of one’s being to come forth and be invoked.
The truth is that we live in a very unhealthy world. When I see people experiencing anxiety, mental illness, and depression I see the deeper root.
I see that many people that suffer with these conditions, are impacted by conditions from their families and trauma. Its almost like we live in a world where the normal state of being human is so deeply infiltrated like a virus with fear, distortions, trauma and numbness—that we can no longer see the invisible elephant in the room—which is trauma.
We live in a heavily traumatized world, where we don’t see the trauma until the symptoms of a collective virus start to be expressed in highly sensitive souls...
And it’s these highly sensitive souls that end up in mental health care and hospitals. They are the symptoms of a highly dysfunctional society and of the collective consciousness.
Everything they experience, is simply exaggerated and accentuated. Some hear negative voices consistently, and most of the collective consciousness of humanity also hears negative voices in their head everyday, and simply think it’s their own mind without being able to differentiate one’s own thinking from the thinking of the collective mind.
My heart goes out to anyone that has ever been touched or affected by mental illness, addictions, and depression. Traditional Western Psychology only touches the tip of the iceberg when it comes to true healing...and the spiritual dimensions of mental illness, addictions and depression. This is why I also did my Master's degree in Transpersonal Psychology, the study of psychology, spirituality and consciousness.
I know the pain very intimately. I know what its like to witness the suffering of family. I know what its like to feel helpless to help.
After a week of being with deep pain, and a widening of my human heart, it would be completely inauthentic of me to post and share something that wasn’t being honest with what is truly present for me right now in this moment.
I hope that by sharing this, and bringing this stigmatized topic into the light, that my voice can inspire others to come out with their pain..and not hide this darkness in the dark anymore.
The reason why I shine, embody and radiate Divine Light—is because I have faced the deepest pain possible of being human, and in me allowing myself to crack open, the Light of God took residence within my being—to serve as an alter of light and filament of Divinity on this Earth to alleviate suffering, liberate souls into the Light and untie souls from the bondage of darkness, through my own liberation into freedom.
I can only uplift and inspire those into the light, because I have travelled the journey of being immersed in pure darkness and hell. Always remember the strongest Lights on this Earth became the powerhouse of Light that they are through facing the deepest darkness and being initiated into the Light.
Suffering drives you deeper, and is a portal to discovering the indestructible Light and glory within. Pain is one of the greatest awakeners. If you are in the thick of it, keep breaking open and know that the light is always calling you forth to remember your True Nature. The journey of being human, is is a quest of remembering our Divinity and the light within amidst our deepest humanity.
With Love and Compassion,